The long road of divorce begins with filing an initial petition, whether jointly or by a single spouse. Emotions run high during marital dissolution, complicating the question of who should pull the legal trigger initiating end of the relationship. While getting a head start seems intuitively advantageous, filing first for divorce can actually work against you by triggering unintended consequences.
So should the betrayed or the betrayer file? Does beginning divorce proceedings first indicate giving up too easily for the marriage to work? And most critically—exactly how can filing for divorce first legally and financially backfire in the long run? This article illuminates key potential pitfalls of both husbands and wives electing to file for divorce first versus attempting reconciliation or waiting for the partner to file instead.
Filing For Divorce in Georgia
In Georgia, you can file for divorce on fault or no-fault grounds after living separately from your spouse for at least one year. The state has a “two-step” divorce process that starts with one spouse filing a complaint for divorce with the court. The other spouse will then be served with divorce papers and given a chance to respond. If you and your spouse agree on all issues, you may be granted an uncontested divorce. However, if there are disputes over things like asset division or child custody, contested divorce proceedings will ensue.
No matter who files for divorce first, the court will ultimately decide outstanding matters based on Georgia divorce laws. Still, filing first does come with certain implications that are important to understand.
Potential Disadvantages of Filing For Divorce First
While filing for divorce first can be the right strategic move in some cases, there are also some potential disadvantages you’ll want to be aware of:
1. You Have to Pay the Filing Fees Upfront
To start a divorce in Georgia, you’ll need to pay a filing fee of around $200 when you submit your initial complaint. If finances are tight, coming up with this money before your spouse may be difficult. If you wait for them to file first, at least the filing costs are shifted onto your partner’s shoulders.
2. It Could Lead to Unnecessary Conflict With Your Spouse
Filing for divorce first means you are taking the active step to end the marriage, which may damage relations with your spouse. Even in an amicable split, being served with divorce papers can come as a shock and hurt your ex’s feelings. This could provoke an angry reaction that leads to increased conflicts during an already emotional process. Avoid unnecessary disputes by carefully considering the timing of filing.
3. You Show Your Case First, Limiting Flexibility Later On
As the filing spouse, you must lay out your side of the story and your requests for divorce in the initial complaint. This means you are showing your hand first before getting to see your partner’s position. If you wait for your spouse to file, you maintain flexibility to respond to and counter their requests. Being the first to file somewhat locks you into your initial arguments and limits strategic options as the case proceeds.
4. It Can Appear Like You Are Trying to Take Advantage
In some cases, being the first to file divorce papers when your spouse isn’t expecting it allows you to get a leg up in the proceedings. For example, you may rush to file first to get your preferred divorce venue or quickly secure temporary orders. While using strategy is understandable in divorce, overly aggressive tactics can backfire. The court may perceive you are trying to take advantage of your ex if you come out of the gates making extreme demands.
5. You May Have to Gather More Documentation Upfront
When you are the one to initiate divorce, the pressure is on you to gather and submit all necessary documentation regarding marital assets, incomes, debts, and other financial matters. If your spouse files first, they shoulder more of this burden early on. Especially if your partner handled more of the family finances, letting them file first can save you time and stress collecting all the required paperwork.
6. It Shows You Are Firmly Decided on Divorce
Some spouses file for divorce as a wake-up call to save a struggling marriage. Others do it out of anger but have mixed feelings later on. By taking the formal step of filing first, you are sending a clear message that you are fully committed to ending the marriage. If any part of you remains unsure or wants to reconcile, it may be wise to hold off on being the one to officially commence divorce proceedings.
7. You Give Up Negotiating Leverage
When you file first, you immediately show your ex that you want a divorce. This eliminates potential leverage you could have gained by waiting for your partner to file and then using a willingness to reconcile as a negotiating chip. Even if you know you want a divorce, feigning interest in saving the marriage could lead your spouse to make concessions to “win you back.” Once you file yourself, this leverage is gone.
8. Your Spouse May Contest Just To Spite You
Even if you make reasonable requests in your filing, your spouse may fight certain provisions just because they are upset that you initiated the divorce. Emotions run high during divorce, and your partner may dig in their heels on issues simply to defy the fact that you filed first. By waiting for your ex to file, you don’t ignite these feelings of spite that can drive contentious litigation.
9. You Could Appear Overly Eager for Divorce
There is a stigma that the person who files for divorce first is the one who destroyed the marriage. Even if you were not solely at fault, being viewed as the eager or anxious partner could hurt you. Fair or not, initiating divorce can lead to perceptions that you gave up on the marriage easily, were eager to leave, or even have someone new waiting in the wings.
10. It May Be Harder to Get a Favorable Venue
In Georgia, you can file for divorce in the county where you, your spouse, or your children reside. The venue where you file can impact factors like how long it takes to finalize the divorce and what judges oversee your case. If your spouse beats you to filing first, they may preemptively choose a venue that disadvantages you. Letting them initiate divorce leaves venue selection up to chance.
How to Make the Best Decision for Your Situation
While being the first to file for divorce has some risks, in many cases, it is still the right decision. Here are some tips for deciding what is best for your unique situation:
- Consult with a divorce attorney – A seasoned divorce lawyer can assess your case and advise if filing first strategically benefits you.
- Consider your living situation – If domestic abuse is present, filing right away could help you get a temporary protection order.
- Prioritize your children – If your spouse plans to move out of state with your kids, filing quickly may help you establish custody rights.
- Take emergency steps to protect assets – If you suspect hiding of assets, file first so you can request financial restraints.
- Prepare key documents in advance – If filing first, have tax returns, financial statements, and other paperwork ready.
- Build your support system – Line up trusted friends, family, or professionals to support you through the emotional toll.
- Proactively seek counseling – Seek therapy or join a divorce support group as a healthy outlet for stress.
- Consider mediation first – You may be able to come to an agreement on some issues beforehand through mediation.
- Weigh the pros and cons objectively – Make lists and discuss the filing decision with your family law attorney to determine if benefits outweigh risks.
Let An Experienced Georgia Divorce Attorneys Advise You
Going through a divorce in Georgia involves many complex legal issues. The compassionate team at Edwards Family Law can guide you through this difficult process, whether negotiating agreements or aggressively litigating on your behalf.
They have years of experience protecting clients’ rights and interests during divorce. Schedule a consultation with their metro Atlanta office today to discuss your situation.
